EXPLORING A DIFFERENT KIND OF PLEASURE
I'm curious about anal pleasure, but feel shy bringing it up with my partner. All my friends' partners seem to dive right in, while mine doesn't seem particularly interested.
Being curious about anal pleasure is completely normal. And feeling a little awkward about saying it out loud? Just as normal. After all, it’s not exactly the kind of topic you casually drop into a “Can you pass the salt—oh, and by the way…” conversation.
Let’s start with the good news: the anus is packed with nerve endings. Translation? Your body has already done half the work for you. If there’s one place designed to surprise, this is it.
As for your friends’ partners who “just go for it”… well, every couple has its own style. Some lovers are natural-born explorers. Others won’t set foot anywhere without a map, clear consent, and a pre-departure briefing. Both are valid. A lack of initiative isn’t a lack of desire: it’s often caution, shyness, or simply not being psychic.
So what’s the best way to bring it up? No dramatic confessions needed. You can introduce the topic casually, in a calm moment, by talking about fantasies or curiosities in general. Something like:
“There’s something I’m curious about and I’d love to talk about it with you.”
This shifts the focus to trust and connection, not pressure or performance. When treated for what it is, a healthy, curious part of sexuality, the topic suddenly feels much less intimidating.
And if the conversation reveals that anal exploration isn’t really their thing? That’s okay. Your curiosity doesn’t have to retire because of it. A toy designed for anal play can be a great ally: solo, or shared in ways that still feel comfortable for both of you. Sometimes intimacy grows precisely in these in-between spaces, where no one is forced and exploration stays playful.
In short: you're curious, maybe a little embarrassed, but absolutely entitled to your desires. Sexuality isn’t a guessing game. It’s better when you talk. And even better with a touch of irony.
Every month, we answer a reader’s question about sexuality for the Florence-based magazine Lungarno. Write to us at info@laclit.com or on IG to send yours.
